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Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don`t slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.