Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
My pants are 75% off.
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I`m in whey over my head.
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.