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A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.