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Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?