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All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
No, Iโm not funny. Iโm just really mean and everyone thinks Iโm joking.
I donโt know what it is but, itโs on sale.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, โUse your best judgment,โ which they clearly donโt have if they are asking me for advice.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.