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I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
"Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don`t have kids
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.