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Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.