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The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Sometimes I wish that I could put my wife on airplane mode.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
I hope to get to the point in my life where Iām not excited about finding change on the ground.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.