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You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.