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I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
I think I may be getting harder to love.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.