Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
If laziness was a sport, I would win first. Except I would have to send someone to except my medal.
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.