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“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
I saw that! - Karma
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.