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I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.