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If Jehovah`s witnesses brought pizza and beer with them, I`d gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
50% of people believe s@x is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are guys
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
Survival rule #1: Don`t go first.
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
Lies I`ll never stop telling: 1. I`d never put you in a home, mom. 2. It`s 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
I`m running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?