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My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.