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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?