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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon