Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
I grew up for this?
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I was stood in front of the mirror last night, admiring my six pack. Then it occurred to me, why the f*ck am I not drinking it?
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!