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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
I don`t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
I`m doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don`t worry if you can`t come