Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles