Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
I hate when I text a girl "I love you" and she`s like "no you don`t." Like bitch, I just fapped to your profile picture, I think I`d know.
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
bras are booby-traps
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.