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There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative