Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
Can I get likes for no reason?