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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
I can`t possibly f*ck up the entire universe, so that`s a relief.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
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