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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I`ve been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?