Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.