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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
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