Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?