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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
When I was a kid I remember I fell asleep in the couch and woke up in the bed, now I fall asleep in the couch and wake up on the floor.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
I`d love to have kids one day. Two days, tops.
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.