Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn`t do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
If my girl didn`t want me to wear her new Christmas thong, she shouldn`t have said she bought it "for me." Women are confusing.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.