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Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?