Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
Trail mix is just a reminder of how much better it would`ve been if I just ate a bag of M&M`s!
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.