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At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
Before McDonald`s I bet "don`t buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren`t going to see me 7 more times before then.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?