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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me