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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said `This dumbass put my cape on backwards.`
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?