Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.