Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Now that my kids are getting older, I`m worried I`ll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Hold boobs not grudges.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
i only drink on days that end with y
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.