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Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
I’m late for a disappointment.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
Every Instagram caption should just be, "ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY LIFE YET??"
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
why do i feel like you are reading this
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.