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Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker.
My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.