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Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
heyy lol
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist