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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…