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I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.