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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.