Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.