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Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
On cold mornings like this I just tell outrageous lies and hope my pants catch fire.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
Just scraped 3 inches of "Mostly Cloudy" off my car.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science