Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.