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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
So long pants! See you Monday!
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
I may be asking too much of this coffee.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.