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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
My grocery cart right now says ” I’m getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!” And also. “I like fruit.”
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?