Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`