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Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.