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Me, watching the Olympics: "That was impressive." Announcer: "ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device. I call it "No air conditioning".
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
Iām going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.