Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My goal today is to lose this hangover and earn another
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
I need a new bad decision.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.