Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?