Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife someone wakes me up.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
*Gets absolutely nothing done*β¦ Welp time for a break.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Just spent a week building a time machine. Thatβs seven days of my life Iβm going to get back.