Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Worry: a waste of imagination.
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
That fact that I need sun glasses to open my fridge means my night must have been awesome.