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I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.