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Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
I hate it when old people poke you at weddings and say you`re next. So I`ve started poking them at funerals
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!