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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Take me seriously at your own risk.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
My IQ? ... With google or without?
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360