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I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
Honk if you wanna see the finger
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver