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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn`t mean together.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?