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Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.