Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
You can`t be late until you show up
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.