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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.