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The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.