Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.