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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.