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Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
If people say you`re acting "really weird," take it as a compliment that you usually only act semi-weird and now you`re totally nailin` it.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
Mom: Some scary old lady keeps FaceTiming me. Me: Mom, turn your camera around and she’ll go away.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.