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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.