Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.