Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
Wife fell asleep on the couch so I drew a spider on her glasses with dry erase marker. And now we wait...
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.