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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
I just awesomed all over the place.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?