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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
My tricks aren`t for kids.
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”