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I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them